I am Jesse’s dad and he has let me write a post here as it’s important to me. And I don’t have a blog of my own, he edited it for me as well, as I am not good at that.
I will be forty years old in less than a year. Saying that turning forty did not trouble me, then, I will be a liar. To several people out there 40 seems to be just a number, but this where I thought I should have accomplished my dreams and goals or my life should be a perfect reflection of a successful mother, wife, business lady and other demanding expectations I desired when I was younger. Although my life seems to be plenty good, I feel that it could be even more beautiful if I did things differently. My life would not turn the way it is if I had taken some time to plan for it. I am a proud mother of two and I have some accomplishments, but when I compare my life with that of others, sometimes it just gets me down. When I reflect being under the sun for almost forty years and I look back at my 30s, I could have changed a few things. Fortunately, due to my past life challenges, I had to learn some new ways of doing things.
My past experiences altered my life into a better one.
The following are the top honest tips that every woman in 30s should know.
Accept and love yourself fully
Well, many folks think that loving yourself is narcissistic and selfish, but this is not the truth. Self-love starts by giving yourself care and attention that will make you feel good. Besides, self-love makes us remember where our power lies and helps us to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings. In other words, not unless you love and accept yourself, nobody will. I think if I had accepted the facts about my life at a tender age, I would have learnt to make right decisions. Once you love and accept who you are, then, you can love others as well. This will significantly help you maintain a healthy relationship with your friends, family or the workmates.
Feed Your Soul
When your soul is in trouble, it is very hard to see clearly. Anger, despair and sorrows can distort your perception of certainty. It becomes difficult to keep things in understanding. They can, in fact, magnify your problems. Ensure that you do what makes you feel inspired and happy. Go for your passion and whatever makes your life look brighter than normal. However, if you don’t know what your passion is, then you should try to do different and activities until you find that thing that will give you freedom, warmth and acceptance inside.
Have a Choice of Good Friends
Spending moments with friends is fun, but it can also have a multiple of emotional and healthy benefits. Good relationships with your friends and family may lessen grief; make aging more interesting and offer camaraderie to assist you reach personal goals and help you overcome the difficulties. An only true friend comes forward to help us when facing difficult situations in life. For a long time, I tried to do things by myself, but I eventually came to understand having friends to share my life with is so worthwhile.
Despite how much I faced difficulties in my life, I wore a beautiful smile on my face. Many people thought all was well with me, but that was not the case. When you start showing others that you have challenges in life, ups and down just like anybody else, you become more sincere and trustworthy to others.
Live for You
My life was much taken up with the truth that I cared for other people more that I cared for myself. I had no time for myself. My reasons and motives of doing things were weird which made my life harder than it was supposed to be. Your life gets much easier when you start making the right decisions for yourself instead of others.
Avoid compromising too much
Compromise is required in any healthy relationship since we are all different and have unlike needs. But is good to evaluate the relationship and decide whether it is good for you or not. If not, then you should avoid it completely.
Travelling to new places gives you a sense of freedom and helps you know how other people outside your country live. In fact, this is my biggest regret. I wish I knew money can buy memories.
Worries will not solve your problems or make you feel better. You should learn to accept unchangeable things and move on your life. I worried too much in my past and the moments I stopped worrying, everything became easier and my stress reduced immensely.
Do you know that comparing your life with that your friends do not do you any good but bring your self-worth down? The moment I realized that there will always somebody better than I am, somebody smarter than me, then my life became easier to handle.
Forget too Much Expectation
I always had this behavior of expecting all good things to come in my way, but this never happened. When my expectations turned to be not real, I just forgot all my expectations and started afresh. Once you notice that all is not lost, and your dreams can still be valid, then you will start enjoying your life without worrying what life will give you.
Live To Work
I always worked to live, and this affected my life so much. I never took a time to search for my best career, but rather I looked for a well-paying job. I was not happy at all. When you choose to do what you love most, it shows that you will enjoy your job as well as your life.
Forgive others and yourself
I lived a life of blaming other people for what they did to me. I hated them with a passion and said I will not forgive them. But, since I realized having the grudge towards other people was hiding my smell, then I learnt to forgive and forget. When you let the negativity of the past go, you begin seeing life in a positive light
Avoid negative people
People will not always love and appreciate what you do. The best way is to be yourself and move forward with your life.
Admire little things
Be simple love the little you do and this will add a beautiful smile on your face each day of your life.
Think twice before you Say “I do”
Marriage is not bed roses. I expected more than I had and so I got married hoping things would be better. But, to me, things became worse. Before marrying someone you should ensure that both of you are ready for each other. It is much easier to end a young relationship with your boyfriend before it becomes too serious than divorcing after having a family together.
Learn to Say NO
You don’t have to accept everything your friend, spouse or the family tells you in seek of love or attention. Being confident helps you make the right decision for yourself. It was very hard for me to say no since I wanted to make everyone happy. But since I noticed I was doing the wrong this, I started trusting myself and making good decisions for myself.
Give back more
Sometimes it is good to forget about your life problems and take time to help someone else. For me, I enjoyed helping others and through this I learnt to be thankful for what I had.
Save for future
Although I did not do this when I was younger, it is always important to save your resources and spend them wisely. saving for the future hardships is a sound and smart decision.